EMOTIONAL LOAN

ByDee Weldon Bird

EMOTIONAL LOAN

If you are anything like me money has been a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. Just about having enough to be able to have a holiday to being so on the floor that debt is way above my head to juggle. To just getting by week to week on the pounds I have for basic living. I always said to myself when I was younger money would not define me or stop me from living no matter what.

 

My relationship with money has been a love hate relationship one to this day I am trying to get my head around. Don’t get me wrong I am not scared of money that I wont take risks and have debts or loans. As having a life takes risks, its just some risks have bigger out of control outcomes than others. I am a giver and not a taker, which is not good if you do not want to get into debt; if I have got it I give it away and worry about it later. You could say I have never had a plan when it comes to money as long as I can get by. I am so not money driven or a businesswoman as the only thing that drives me in all areas of my life is my heart. Yet the world does not take love as credit or payments for things although I do.

 

I have not had a constant balance of a flush bank account, mainly due to my bank of mum that always needs raiding for the family. Oh not to mention when our dogs need the vets the bill is huge. It is all a catch 22 because if you only have a certain amount coming in a month extra expenses like pet insurance would mean we would all not eat which would make the insurance pointless. So we budget what is vital and what we can juggle to get by. In a nutshell I have been on the tipping point of debt in my life only to swim to the surface again eventually. Being a single parent and living on a basic income when bringing up kids is not easy. So to get out of situations you have to take risks to improve your situation, which costs money.

 

Money makes the world go around even if you have got it or not and yet your more noticed by your debt status than if you have never borrowed in your life. Work that one out, you have to be in debt or owe money in some way to be graded on how reliable you are for debt. Being debt free means you don’t qualify or are not recognized in the debt system,

Really I don’t know what is worse being accepted for more or being invisible because you do not need to borrow.

 

Whatever the reason for borrowing it stirs up loads of emotions, stress or worry, as it is easy to borrow and get in debt but harder to get out of it. Unless a windfall comes your way to bail you out. Life is not cheap and it seems you need more and more of money to have anything past basic living essentials. Money is a bit of a taboo subject really if you’re flush less worry and stress if things are tight then the strain starts to show.

 

Living from my heart has kept me sane but it does not help my purse. When we borrow from banks or credit cards there is less emotional ties, as it is just a cold contract of expectations. Miss a payment or if you are late you know the punishment your credit rating goes down. Oh no that means my ability for more credit will be harder to acquire. It’s the times when friends or family lend us a helping hand that brings out high emotional ties. If the gifting of money to help is clear-cut for just money sake with nothing else needed then that is all underlined equally. It is when it is gifted for personal needs of needing to be needed. So not only do you have the debt you have the emotional debt on top as if you owe them forever above the money you borrowed. Emotional blackmail or emotional needs are the underlining reason in which to control another by money lending. It is like a money fix of giving to make you feel good and needed.

 

Money at the end of the day brings about many reasons and meanings behind the act of money giving or borrowing. It has always been used to gain control, whether the control in our own personal lives or to gain from some one else’s need. I am learning to love money and give it no judgment or label it is what it is. An exchange and offering for something in return, my offering first before any money exchanges hands is from a place of love in my heart. If I do not feel love then it’s a robotic action with little thought.

 

We all come here with nothing and go back home with nothing, we actually own nothing and everything is borrowed to us otherwise we would take it with us when we pass. I am rich in my heart and I am happy with that as it will be my heart bank that I will be taking with me and leaving my money bank behind.

 

Yes I would like to have more money so I can share my gifts more worldly and widely. To be able to chat to many people about the meaning of life and not the fears created in life. To share about life in all its glory and not the glossy cover story. To share real life and all the emotions real life brings so they are not hidden, as life is a rollercoaster ride which takes understanding to master as life is all about experience. Ok mine is at times top heavy and I am working on the balance, but I am getting there. The one thing I have learnt is keep hold of your emotions like they are the steering wheel in a car, so then you will always have control no matter how out of control life feels.

 

Master your emotions you have control of your life no matter how deep or shallow your pockets are. Owe what you borrow with a clear heart.

 

Love what you have even if a pound so you can then love the many pounds that may follow.

Much love to you

Dee xx

BLOG: EMOTIONAL LOAN

 

If you are anything like me money has been a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. Just about having enough to be able to have a holiday to being so on the floor that debt is way above my head to juggle. To just getting by week to week on the pounds I have for basic living. I always said to myself when I was younger money would not define me or stop me from living no matter what.

 

My relationship with money has been a love hate relationship one to this day I am trying to get my head around. Don’t get me wrong I am not scared of money that I wont take risks and have debts or loans. As having a life takes risks, its just some risks have bigger out of control outcomes than others. I am a giver and not a taker, which is not good if you do not want to get into debt; if I have got it I give it away and worry about it later. You could say I have never had a plan when it comes to money as long as I can get by. I am so not money driven or a businesswoman as the only thing that drives me in all areas of my life is my heart. Yet the world does not take love as credit or payments for things although I do.

 

I have not had a constant balance of a flush bank account, mainly due to my bank of mum that always needs raiding for the family. Oh not to mention when our dogs need the vets the bill is huge. It is all a catch 22 because if you only have a certain amount coming in a month extra expenses like pet insurance would mean we would all not eat which would make the insurance pointless. So we budget what is vital and what we can juggle to get by. In a nutshell I have been on the tipping point of debt in my life only to swim to the surface again eventually. Being a single parent and living on a basic income when bringing up kids is not easy. So to get out of situations you have to take risks to improve your situation, which costs money.

 

Money makes the world go around even if you have got it or not and yet your more noticed by your debt status than if you have never borrowed in your life. Work that one out, you have to be in debt or owe money in some way to be graded on how reliable you are for debt. Being debt free means you don’t qualify or are not recognized in the debt system,

Really I don’t know what is worse being accepted for more or being invisible because you do not need to borrow.

 

Whatever the reason for borrowing it stirs up loads of emotions, stress or worry, as it is easy to borrow and get in debt but harder to get out of it. Unless a windfall comes your way to bail you out. Life is not cheap and it seems you need more and more of money to have anything past basic living essentials. Money is a bit of a taboo subject really if you’re flush less worry and stress if things are tight then the strain starts to show.

 

Living from my heart has kept me sane but it does not help my purse. When we borrow from banks or credit cards there is less emotional ties, as it is just a cold contract of expectations. Miss a payment or if you are late you know the punishment your credit rating goes down. Oh no that means my ability for more credit will be harder to acquire. It’s the times when friends or family lend us a helping hand that brings out high emotional ties. If the gifting of money to help is clear-cut for just money sake with nothing else needed then that is all underlined equally. It is when it is gifted for personal needs of needing to be needed. So not only do you have the debt you have the emotional debt on top as if you owe them forever above the money you borrowed. Emotional blackmail or emotional needs are the underlining reason in which to control another by money lending. It is like a money fix of giving to make you feel good and needed.

 

Money at the end of the day brings about many reasons and meanings behind the act of money giving or borrowing. It has always been used to gain control, whether the control in our own personal lives or to gain from some one else’s need. I am learning to love money and give it no judgment or label it is what it is. An exchange and offering for something in return, my offering first before any money exchanges hands is from a place of love in my heart. If I do not feel love then it’s a robotic action with little thought.

 

We all come here with nothing and go back home with nothing, we actually own nothing and everything is borrowed to us otherwise we would take it with us when we pass. I am rich in my heart and I am happy with that as it will be my heart bank that I will be taking with me and leaving my money bank behind.

 

Yes I would like to have more money so I can share my gifts more worldly and widely. To be able to chat to many people about the meaning of life and not the fears created in life. To share about life in all its glory and not the glossy cover story. To share real life and all the emotions real life brings so they are not hidden, as life is a rollercoaster ride which takes understanding to master as life is all about experience. Ok mine is at times top heavy and I am working on the balance, but I am getting there. The one thing I have learnt is keep hold of your emotions like they are the steering wheel in a car, so then you will always have control no matter how out of control life feels.

 

Master your emotions you have control of your life no matter how deep or shallow your pockets are. Owe what you borrow with a clear heart.

 

Love what you have even if a pound so you can then love the many pounds that may follow.

Much love to you

Dee xx

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