Life at times puzzles me and confuses me only because when I do anything it is with my heart and not with my mind. Caring and living from your heart comes at a price. Not a price tag but a price of judgement of where is your ulterior motive?
Ok living from my heart has not been all plain sailing, as I speak the truth and some people I have met on my path do not like the truth. Yet why would I want to lie to anyone when I thought honesty was the best policy?
I do have to live with myself every second of every day and if something does not sit right in my heart before I sleep at night then this will eat away at my conscience.
I am not perfect and have made loads of what would be called mistakes; I would call them experience regardless of the outcome. Yes we are weighed and sized up after our births, but I did not know this sizing up would be a major factor as we grow up in life.
I learnt from a young age that a life followed created many contradictions, whether we contradict ourselves or towards others. Life is not a straight line, yes we have guidelines in which to follow and rules and regulations, together with demands and expectations. But who really takes the time to get to know one another, after all time and schedules does not give us much time to know ourselves let alone anyone else. As we are too busy holding our life up so we fit in as much as we can.
I have come across in the past criticism if I don’t charge enough for readings as a medium, being told you take too long with a reading, give a taster so they book again! Why? I use to ask myself if I can help them now why not complete the reading. All because time is money you pay xy and z for half hour or an hour. Yet our lives are not the same, some people have more going on than others and need more time.
The alarm bells of my caring heart ring out again, love and care means more to me than money. I vowed when I saw how money had been used as a weapon as a child that money would not define me. My heart will define me no matter how challenging and difficult life got.
Ok yes people may find it odd living from your heart and maybe in doing so, does not fit in how life is run here. But I chose as a child not to fit in as I started out in life not fitting in, so why change my roots. The one thing I worked out after years of abuse, and trauma as a child that I had control of is my heart.
My heart is my clothing and out of that abuse, I started on my journey growing up in the pursuit of love. In adversity I would not accept no matter how much I was hurt or abused or judged or rejected. I would not believe that love did not exist, so Love would be my driving force and my reason why I get up in the morning.
Even if I were not shown love and care it would not give me the reason to not give it back. It would make me more determined to care. I chose not to live on the surface and blend in. who ever I meet in life I see them for who they are deep down inside. I feel if they are happy or sad or confused, the deep down stuff we hide away from the world. As most people cant see how we really feel they go with what we allow our selves to share.
It takes time to understand one another as we are all different and yes I am odd and quirky but that is how I like it. As I feel my heart beating every second of every day reminding me to live from a place of care and giving. So much is taken from us living within the demands of every day life.
We are encouraged to perform to a standard in life rather than be ourselves. We are scared to stand out unless it’s for all the right reasons. We all want to be liked and loved at the end of the day. Yet love does not require anything of you apart from being yourself. Self-love is enjoying who you are, bringing out the best in you because you love to.
At times material things are valued more important than people, and not just because of the price tag. Yet caring costs nothing when you’re not afraid to accept love in any caring manner without questioning it. Love is priceless really when noticed. Yet if something is too cheap it may be judged as not good enough. The key here is quality, quality that matches a price tag. Shows passion and love has gone into the masterpiece or gift and skill.
So if my heart wants to give to you, know it is my way of caring and showing you that I really want the best for you. If I give anything away it is because it is from my heart with no agenda apart from the joy of giving.
Why fear caring when we all get fed up with being hurt, why react to care like we would harm. Care can be used in manipulative ways as a false sense of security but if you’re connected to your own heart then you will alert you. This is where trusting in yourself comes in and knowing yourself enough.
We are all unique for a reason to bring variety and many different experiences to life. Why blend in when you are so unique and so amazing just for being you. Care about you as much as you would an expensive item for you are priceless.
The next time adversity stares you in the face do what I do when I feel out of control in situations, say ya gotta laugh aint ya. This one sentence has got me through my rollercoaster life like a pause button so I can breathe. As some things are out of our control as we can only control ourselves.
Love can be many things and be what ever you want it to be, but one thing love wont do to you is harm you. Love can feel painful when we feel many sides to love, which is where care comes in to support us when we need some comfort.
Embrace care as it gives the quality back into our life.
Care is not a weapon it is a gift.
Much love to you Dee xx